Having mastered fluids and solids, we're now working on delicious recipes for gas and plasma.

Who likes great food and rhetorical questions?

We don't compare to other bars and restaurants. We compare to sunshine, and the concept of love.

We're having an Emmy party tonight.

You can come even if you haven't won.

Brunch is the most important meal of the weekend.

Your sorrows are good swimmers.

It's going to take a lot to drown them.

COME IN FOR HANGOVER BRUNCH!!! WE HAVE STRONG COFFEE, PLENTY OF MEAL CHOICES, AND NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS!!!

It's Earth Day.

Buy local!

Do your taxes in our bright, wifi-enabled dining area. You can get a burger and craft beer for $10, and we'll pretend not to notice any crying.

Renovations at the Paulus Hook space are moving along and we expect to reopen later this month.

Of course, Sisyphus probably expected to relax at the top of that hill.

Food maintains life.

Beer makes it worthwhile.

It's snowing because Earth is mad at you for going to other bars.

Do you masticate while thinking of us?

We know you're filled with holiday cheer, but if there's any space left over, we can put beer in it.

White Star is proud of customers like Banksy, cartoonist Bill Watterson, and reclusive author Thomas Pynchon.

They drink here all the time, we bet.

It's Friday the 13th.

Don't go in the woods. Stay out of the abandoned mental hospital. If your car breaks down, do not walk to that nearby Gothic mansion for help.

All of this applies doubly if you are a popular jock, cheerleader, or on the run from shady men looking for that suitcase you picked up by mistake.

Are you wearing jean cutoffs? Don't. (Trust us on this.)

You need to find a nice, well-kept public place. One with a ready supply of good food and drink, so you can stay a while. Also, the people there should be friendly, devoid of radiation-melted features, and have arms that end in hands, not sickles, knives, or any other edged weapons.

We'll give you more advice later, we just need to find out why a child's haunting laughter is coming from the old well out back.

Every meal here is as life-affirming as the climactic flashback scene from Ratatoullie.

Our badonkadonk has exactly the right level of donk.

Cicadas are completely harmless. They're just giant bugs with blood-red eyes that are about to rise from the ground, blacken the skies in loud swarms, then fornicate themselves to death.

No cause for alarm.

If you do want to stop in for a drink though, we can talk about sports or the weather.

Moms love us. We make sure you eat well, and may even help you meet the right someone.

Beer won't solve all your problems, just those related to not having beer.

Don’t let rain bother you. Just beyond the clouds, the Sun is shining!

The Sun… a raging nuclear fireball, surrounded by infinite darkness.